


Kestrel's Choice

by sqmmie



Category: Wings of Fire - Tui T. Sutherland
Genre: Angst, Canon Backstory, Canonical Character Death, Child Death, Gen, One Shot, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2020-01-13 02:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18459962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sqmmie/pseuds/sqmmie
Summary: "Ch—choose?" Kestrel gulped. This was worse than she feared. "What—what do you mean?" Kestrel hoped she had misheard, hoped she hadn't understood correctly."Choose which of your dragonets you would like to slaughter," Queen Scarlet explained, slowly and clearly, "and I will pardon you and your remaining dragonet."





	Kestrel's Choice

**_In the Sky Kingdom—_ **

Kestrel never wanted any of this.

She wanted to be a mother so badly, to have a dragonet to love and care for and raise to be a loyal SkyWing soldier. She wanted a dragonet who would look up to her and mimic her and follow in her footsteps.

Instead, she got  _this_.

What was so wrong about her dragonets? Well, for one, they were twins. Twin were looked down upon in the Sky Kingdom, for some reason Kestrel couldn't fathom.

Secondly, one of them was incinerating the leaf she was sitting on, while the other one was trying to puff a plume of flame but couldn't.

Every so often a dragonet like her little girl was born. It was common enough that Kestrel knew Queen Scarlet would order her to drop her off a cliff, as was the custom. But she looked at the tiny golden dragonet, so perilous yet so vulnerable, and wondered how a mother could be so heartless to kill her own dragonet.

"Perilous," Kestrel murmured to herself. She reached out a talon to stroke the dragonet, but recoiled when she felt the intense heat radiating from her scales. The dragonet stared up at Kestrel with striking blue eyes, no doubt wondering why her mother was afraid to touch her.

"Little Peril." Kestrel gazed at her daughter with love. Then she shook her head. She was going to have to kill her, or else Queen Scarlet would have Kestrel killed—or worse, banished. Imagine living as a fugitive, with no tribe or queen to swear your loyalty to! That was surely worse than death. And to prevent that fate, Kestrel couldn't dare get attached to her dragonet, let alone name her.

She turned her attention to her little boy, the one that Queen Scarlet might let survive. He wasn't dangerous like his sister—no, quite the opposite. For the rest of his life, this dragonet would be a half-dragon, shunned by the SkyWings, for being unable to breathe fire. In battle, he wouldn't be able to fight for his tribe without fire. He would have to be confined to the Sky Kingdom, nothing more than a dying ember.

The door to the hatchery was suddenly flung open. Queen Scarlet stood in the doorway, bedecked in her gold chainmail armor and dripping with precious jewels. She looked down her snout at Kestrel and the twins in disdain.

"I heard you had a defective egg," said the Queen. "Soldier Kestrel, I have no choice but to ban you from the breeding program for life."

Kestrel gasped. "No!" Now she would never get to be a proper mother! "Please, Your Majesty, I promise all my future eggs will be perfectly normal—"

"No exceptions. Those dragonets are defective; I want them dead."

Kestrel could feel everything, her whole world, collapsing inside of her. "You mean—drop them off a cliff?"

"Drop them off a cliff, drown them in the river, I don't care! And if they're not dead by nightfall, you're banished!" Queen Scarlet made a move toward the door.

"No!" Kestrel lashed out and grabbed Scarlet's leg in her claw. She was desperate. "Please, can't just one of them live? Think, Peril could singlehandedly win this war! She's valuable to you. And—and if she's too dangerous, let me save Ember. He's so weak, I can't just kill him. I promise, if you let Ember live, I'll raise him on my own, and you'll never have to lay eyes on him! Please," she pleaded, "let me save one."

Oops. Kestrel had already involuntarily named her son and daughter.

Queen Scarlet twisted out of Kestrel's grip. "Kill those dragonets by nightfall, or face the consequences. I've issued my order," she said coldly. "You should be able to return to your normal duties by tomorrow, Soldier Kestrel." She stalked out of the cave.

Normally, that statement would have filled Kestrel with joy. Back to her duties in combat, loyally serving her queen, instead of being cooped up in the hatchery, tending to her eggs! But instead, all Kestrel felt was dread.

It was her duty to follow her queen's orders. Yet she had another duty, one far more important, and that was from a mother to her dragonets. It didn't matter if they were different.

Kestrel knew what she had to do.

"Come, hatchlings," she whispered to Peril and Starling as she packed away what little she owned. "We're going away. We're going someplace where you'll be safe, my little ones."

She stole out of the Sky Kingdom, tethered to the ground, for her dragonets were not yet old enough to fly. She just kept to the shadows of the near-approaching night and hoped the guards were too sleepy to see her.

* * *

**_At the Diamond Spray Delta—_ **

Kestrel sat at the edge of the river, watching her dragonets splash in the current. Starling, with his clever little claws, sent a splash right in Peril's face. Kestrel chuckled as Peril shook her head to get the water off her tiny snout.

Kestrel looked up at Jade Mountain, its peak jutting out so much higher than the rest of the range, and thought of Stonemover. He would offer them shelter, and hide them from Queen Scarlet.

"Peril, Ember," Kestrel called out. Already the little dragonets knew their own names, and trotted obediently back to their mother. Peril blew a plume of flame and shook all the water off her wings. Ember whined and shied away when the droplets touched him, and Kestrel brought him under the shelter of her wing.

"Come on, let's go." Kestrel spread out a wing to herd her little ones toward Jade Mountain.

"And where might you be going?"

Kestrel gasped and whirled around. She was face-to-face with Queen Scarlet. She swept her dragonets behind her wings and prepared for a fight.

"What do you want, Scarlet?" Kestrel growled. It was the first time she had addressed her queen as simply "Scarlet". But she wasn't Kestrel's queen anymore, and Kestrel wasn't her subject. She had left that life behind the moment she had disobeyed Scarlet's orders.

Startlingly, Queen Scarlet lowered her front talons and dug them into the ground—a sign of peace. "Soldier Kestrel, I've given your request a lot of thought, and I've decided to change my order. I'll spare you and one of your dragonets. If one is killed, you and the other dragonet will be let off with full pardon."

Kestrel hesitated. She knew that was what she had asked before, but now she wasn't sure this was what she wanted. To sacrifice her dragonet's life for her own was incredibly selfish, and Kestrel hated herself for ever thinking it.

But she knew Queen Scarlet wouldn't let her escape with both dragonets. Even as the SkyWing queen sat on her haunches, seemingly nonchalant, Kestrel could see that she was poised to attack a fleeing dragon. She'd never make it out with Queen Scarlet watching her like a hawk, much less her dragonets.

"Fine," Kestrel spat. "I accept your offer. Which one do you want to kill?"

Queen Scarlet showed a sly smile. "Choose."

"Ch—choose?" Kestrel gulped. This was worse than she feared. "What—what do you mean?" Kestrel hoped she had misheard, hoped she hadn't understood correctly.

"Choose which of your dragonets you would like to slaughter," Queen Scarlet explained, slowly and clearly, "and I will pardon you and your remaining dragonet."

Kestrel didn't know what to do.

She looked over one shoulder at Peril, her blazing, dangerous daughter. Kestrel loved her, no matter how much of an abomination she was. Yet she would never be able to touch her or care for her. And no matter how many words of wisdom Kestrel passed on to her, what kind of monster would Queen Scarlet turn her into if she ever got her hands on Peril?

Over the other shoulder was Ember. Tiny, a runt, really, but honest and good. He was the kind of dragonet who would follow Kestrel anywhere, because she was his mother and a mother is loyal. But a mother is loyal to both her dragonets, not just the one who loves her more.

Kestrel stole another look at Peril, and those blue eyes so like her own stared pleadingly, and Kestrel remembered—

_Kestrel's own eyes, staring exactly the same way at her own mother. She was sending her away, to enter Queen Scarlet's training program for her army. Kestrel didn't want to go, for she was only five years old and fragile and afraid of big dragons. But her mother wanted nothing but to have her gone, and finally had to push her out of the house before locking and bolting the door._

Kestrel couldn't do that to her own dragonet. She wouldn't make her mother's mistake. She would find a way to love her blazing daughter, even if she couldn't touch her. Before she could have a change of heart, Kestrel pounced on Ember and snapped his neck. She looked away quickly, afraid to see what she had done.

She slumped her shoulders and stared at the marshy ground. In a heavy voice, she said, "It's done, Queen Scarlet. Let me and Peril come home now."

"Actually…" Queen Scarlet tapped a claw against her chin. "I've changed my mind. You're a criminal, Kestrel. You're banished. You'd best leave now before I change my mind again and decide to kill you. And leave your Peril with me too, if you know what's good for you."

Queen Scarlet had had this planned all along, Kestrel realized. She had never "changed her mind". She just wanted to see Kestrel suffer. Starling had died for nothing.

"You're evil." Kestrel backed away. "And I'll never leave you Peril! I won't have you turn her into a monster!"

Snarling, Queen Scarlet made a grab for Kestrel's tail. If Kestrel ran, she would be too slow. Not to mention having to wait for a weeks-old dragonet to catch up.

Forgetting about her fiery touch, Kestrel grabbed Peril in her claws and took to the air.

Kestrel let out a yelp and Peril tumbled from her claws. She had been burned before, but it had never been as painful as this. Peril's scales radiated pure fire.

Y _ou'd best leave now before I change my mind again and decide to kill you._  Kestrel knew Queen Scarlet wasn't lying. She would have to leave, without Peril. With a jolt, Kestrel realized Peril was the one she should have killed. Then she'd at least have the chance to raise one dragonet. But now that bridge was burned. There was no going back. She flew higher and higher, away from the broken body of her son and the wailing form of her daughter.

At first, she flew in the direction of Jade Mountain, but changed course when she realized what Stonemover would say if he knew she killed her son and abandoned her daughter to grow up in the hands of an evil, sadistic queen. It would disgust him.

Selfish, selfish Kestrel! Spreading out her wings for full speed, the exiled SkyWing rode the wind toward the Talons of Peace.

* * *

**_As the poison spreads through her body—_ **

Kestrel was falling.

Kestrel was falling, and she was in pain.

Kestrel was falling, she was in pain, and she was dying.

The jagged rocks of the sea were getting closer, and Morrowseer's leering face was getting farther away.

Death, she thought, was a small price to pay for what she had done.

As a final act of what she hoped was repentance, she closed her eyes and wished.

She wished Glory knew she could never have killed her, would never have killed her. It would have been too hard, after what she had done. She had thought she could at the time. But in the Sky Kingdom, watching the RainWing relax in the sun, she knew she couldn't.

She wished Starling knew she made a foolish decision, and hoped that he could forgive her for what she had done. For Kestrel would be joining her little boy soon, and she had no idea if she would be greeted with open arms or sharp claws.

She wished Peril knew that even though she regretted saving her, Kestrel was thankful beyond the moon and the stars that her daughter was still alive. And not just that—Kestrel was  _proud_  of her. Proud of the beautiful young dragon she'd grown up to be, a dragon who knew what was best for herself even if her own mother didn't.

But most of all, she wished Queen Scarlet was dead.

When she imagined the SkyWing queen, and all the pain she had caused her over the years, all she could think was a burning desire for her death. Glory had melted Queen Scarlet's face, but Kestrel knew it took more than that to kill someone like Scarlet.

So as she spiraled down toward the sea, throat bleeding freely and poison spreading through her heart, Kestrel's final wish was revenge.


End file.
